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Proud Single Parenting since the beginning of time

Thursday, January 17, 2008

7:46AM - Here's the thing. . .

So my girl has never really had any fears of things. I never encouraged it and she never seemed to have a problem. If there did seem to be fear about something (part in a movie or what have you), I soothed her and said something appropriate about the situation. Well, about two months ago she and I were leaving my work with some co-workers who had a daughter serously bitten and hospitalized by a spider. I can understand their fear. But they passed it on to my girl by freakin out when a Daddy Long Leg was climbing on the door my daughter was near. Took my two freakin months to undo what they did (and I only accomplished that beause I put a patch of a spider on her new jean jacket and said it was a love spider). Now she seems to be scared of things I suppose are normal for almost 3 year olds, but really . . .ANTS?!

How does one handle the beginning seeds of fear? And squash them out before they become something too great? I'm not saying fear is a bad thing, neccesssarily, but I don't want a kid afraid of the dark or ants, especially when that kids favorite movie is Nightmare Before Christmas. . .

Current mood: confused

Monday, December 31, 2007

10:59AM - Some Advice

I'm wondering about this community again. What do you all think? Is it worth keep around? Are we all just busy bodies? Not sure of what, if anything will be done yet, I just thought it would be more democratic of me to ask you all, since we are so small and many or personal LJ friends as well as community companions.

Thoughts are greatly appreciated!

Current mood: awake

Saturday, November 17, 2007

2:56PM - It's a struggle now

So for about the last week or so, nap/bedtime has been a real struggle. My girl seems to be tired (i.e. wiping at the eyes, yawning) but when I get her into bed, tucked in, sung to, read to, prayers all said and done, she still sneaks out and plays quietly in the hallway until my Mom or I hear/find her. This goes one for a good hour or two. Consequences are given, choices are given, and still there is a struggle. Am I just misreading her sleepy signs? Or is she just being stubborn?

Current mood: frustrated

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

6:43PM - First Halloween

Little Miss went trick or treating for the first time this year. She was polite and cute and friendly and got tons of goodies for the few homes we went too. She's ontent on the couch now eating a sucker as big as her mouth and watching Nightmare Before Christmas. "And since I am dead I can take off my head to recite Shakespearian qoutation." My favorite line. "Oh there's an empty place in place in my Bones." And that's just truth. There also was this little carnival thing at her sschool I satyed for. She got to play a few games and win non candy prizes. OH! And my little girl made me so happy today. First litle booth she went to was the (fake) Tattoo booth. She got herself her first ink and it was a froggy! *claps* It was a total look into the future. LOL

Current mood: giddy

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

8:46PM - Irritating

Lately, like within the last week or so, my little girl has decided that she is no longer as angelic as everyone would like to think. Now, I know most people would like to throw out the "Terrible Two's" phrase, but quite frankly, I don't believe that it's just the kids fault and that parents can perpetuate the idea by using and thinking through that phrase. Having said that, let's continue.

Gromit has lately been using the workd no alot more. Not just randomly either. This evening, I had to ask her if she would start listening to me the first time and she said "Uh-huh." Then I asked if she would stop hitting people and she said "No." She's been struggling with listening and obeying the first or even thrid time around. She has decided to start running into streets without a hand or being carried. She has decided not to go to bed, but rather sneak out of her room and get into all sorts of mishceief until I find her. Tues night she didn't fall asleep until 11pm.

This is really frustrating me and I can tell my temper is running dangerously thin for her. She's been in more time outs in the last week than in her whole life and I even swatted at her butt the night she wouldn't sleep. I'm loosing patience with her throughout the day so that night is just bad for the both of us.

How do I control her and myself so that she learns instead of just fears?! I am in desperate need for advice.

Current mood: cranky

Sunday, October 14, 2007

1:53AM - Proud nerdy dad

My two year old son ran up to the tv today during the commercial for Transformers on DVD, pointed to it and yelled "Daddy ROBOTS!!". I've never felt more proud of my little boy than at that moment. Until he said "Daddy, CAR robots" and clapped his hands. That's my mini me!

Current mood: nerdy

Monday, October 8, 2007

6:23PM

I don't know why, but it really makes me giggly happy whenever my girl requests to watch "Jack and Sally" which is Nightmare Before Christmas. Just thought I'd be cheesey for a moment.

Current mood: bouncy

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

9:35PM - Bedtime stories

I've had this book since I was a kid called A Diversity of Dragons. It's a collection of excerpts from famous stories about battles with Dragons. I just read the kids the final Battle of Beowulf and the story of Tristans battle for the hand of Isaud (he has to slay a dragon). They were so into it it was cute. Alannah wanted more stories, but it's bed time for them. Now I can hear the girls talking about the dragons and the princess in their beds :). Anybody have any favorite stories they like to read to their children?

Current mood: happy

Thursday, September 27, 2007

2:25PM - Child support RECIPENTS now get to pay a fee to support federal premarital counseling

Didja hear about the federal Deficit Reduction Act of 2005? No? Well, among other things it REQUIRES states to charge child support recipents (NOT the payors) an annual $25 fee. Why? To collect money for federal premarital programs (and "fatherhood skills" programs). No, really. Because, sheesh, the reason I'm a single mom - and should therefore be fined $25/year for staying single - is because I didn't get enough "pro-marriage education" in high school. And my ex-husband changed to a new wife because he didn't have enough "fatherhood and job search training."

Outrageous. This is another example of the subtle, pervasive stereotyping of single moms - that we're all stupid and got pregnant as teenagers - that I'm always soapboxing about.

Source

The fee is assessed beginning Oct 2007. Fee is waived if you've ever received TANF or AFDC.

Oh, I should clarify:

"[The Deficit Reduction Act of 2005] requires states to impose an annual fee of $25 on families who have never received TANF assistance in child support cases with collections of at least $500. States have four options: (1) retain the fee from collected support; (2) charge the individual applying for services; (3) recover the fee from the absent parent; or (4) pay the fee out of state funds."

(same source)

How do you know if, in your particular state, you'll be charged the fee? Some people have reported getting notices from their child support agency that say so. I just Googled "Mystate Deficit Reduction Act TANF child support" and turned up a link for my state (yup, I get to pay $25/year). Most states are apparently charging the support-recipient parent, either because (a) it's easiest to get our money, since we are getting a monthly amount, or (b) we are being "punished" for getting pregnant, regardless of circumstances. Based on the pro-marriage crap programs this money supports, I actually believe (b). Bush thinks we're all stupid, unmarried teens who can't keep our legs closed.

cross-posted from my journal

2:07PM - Healthy eating

Do any of you have any challenges when it comes to getting your kids to eat healthier? Mine do ok. I try to limit their sugar intake and cook all around healthy thing (spanish household, all about rice in here). I have problems with my oldest being a super picky eater. She will only eat things that look bland and don't have much color. No veggies, and she refuses to eat any type of meat. I only cook chicken and barely make any red meats. And no pork, lol, though my little girl loves her ham sandwiches. So I make an exception for that. Any advice/suggestions/similar issues/challenges/how many more slashes can I type :)?

10:32AM - exercise?

clos10 started talking in another post about how hard it is, in our busy lives, to exercise (for kids AND us) and how important it is (health, stress relief, role modeling).

I've been very reluctant to exercise in the evenings, after work, because it means giving up yet more family time and shoving my poor kiddo, fresh from 10 hours of daycare, into more childcare for an hour. I think I've finally found an answer though: I'm bike commuting. Takes the same time as the bus (about 35 min each way) and when I get home, I'm DONE working out. My daughter sees my bike, and me in bike gear, so I suppose it counts as a little role-modeling.

My daughter gets plenty of gym time now at daycare, but I know the public schools reduce gym/recess to very little. And I feel like opportunities for inside family exercsie (gyms) are almost none - I used to lobby my old gym hard to have a family night (once a month the YMCAs do this, family projects, swimming pool, free to all) but they made no money off of it so refused. Instead, all that the gyms here offer for kids are childcare while the parent works out. UGH!

As a family, in good weather we hike, kayak, swim, walk places and generally mess around on playgrounds a lot. But winter is much harder. The "open gym" times I see, free or low-cost playtime at the big playrooms in neighborhood community centers, are only open weekday daytimes (when I work of course). GRRR!

How do others here manage to fit in exercise for themselves and their kids?

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

7:14PM - Hobbies with kids

Does anybody here have any interesting hobbies or games that they play with their kids? I do origami and baking and I'm getting mine hooked on the baking. My four year old is trying to learn origami and it's adorable watching her try to imitate me in it. She can make a little paper rabbit head right now and that's about it. They love to bake though. And the baby boy loves to eat it :). Anyone else out there like to do anything crafty or just fun with their kids?

9:34AM

Anyone have any ideas on how to liven up this place? Since, ya know. . . it's dead?

And does anyone have HTML and graphics skillz. I'd love to do a sort of theme for this community.

Current mood: creative

Thursday, August 2, 2007

10:47AM

Ah! Squirrel Nut Zippers are on Sesame Street right now!

That is so cool.

Current mood: bouncy

Saturday, July 28, 2007

1:06PM - Appreciation

So I just wanted to drop a quick thank you to those of us posting as well as commenting. I appreciate that we do not constantly rant and "vent" about our ex's. I get disheartened and frustrated seeing other communities where that is a constant thing.

And question. . .how'd you all deal with your children going from a crib to a big kids bed? My girl does it, but it's a few hours struggle to get her to stay in the bed and fall asleep.

Current mood: content

Saturday, July 21, 2007

5:36PM - The joys of having little girls...

So my little girl, my teeny-tiny, petite sweetheart of a child, just turned 4 today.

I am officially old. I remember holding all little 6lbs 2oz of baby Alannah as she was born. I remember staying up all night with a week old little girl who wouldn't stop crying. So we would watch my nightmare on elm street collection while she drank her bottles and slept soundly. I remember her first word (dada), her first steps and her first fart joke (princesssssssssssssss tooooooooooooooooootsss!!).

Today I saw her open her presents at Chucky Cheese (Hate that place soooo much) and get all excited about makeup and dresses. She has a new Snow White dress, a new tea set, loads of makeup and little craft butterflies. My mother flew down and took her shopping for clothes this morning. And I bought her a toy nursery set for her babies. She is a little mommy. My sister in her undying love for me, even put her present into a Victorias Secret bag. I got a glimpse of her bdays 20 years from now. That was not a cool thought.

As we were walking out she held my hand and kissed it and said thank you daddy I love you. That made my wallet stop screaming at me for how much money was spent that day and made me smile. These are the memories and reasons for me to keep going and get my life on track. Now I am going to go have a tea party with Snow White and 1 dwarf (Connor). Hailey fell asleep already. Oh, and I am Princess Daddy.



The self humiliation we do for our children!!

Current mood: happy

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

3:21PM - Momma (or parent in general) meme

1. How long have you been a mom? I gave birth 2 years, 3 months, and 5 days ago.

2. How many kids call you mommy? And I'm keeping it that way for a time.

3. When you were pregnant did you know what you were having? I didn't know know until the Doctor told me, but most of my family figured it was a girl.

4. How old were you when you became a mom? 22, almost 23.

5. How long were you in labor? Just under 19 hours from start to finish with about 2 and a half hours of heavy labor/pushing.

6. What's your favorite thing about being a mom? The unconditional love given and received. The laughter I am given and I get with her.

7. What's your least favorite thing? The tantrums. Not knowing what to do because it's never happened before. Doing it alone.

8. Do you want more kids? Perhaps in the future if my husband is adimant about his onwn flesh and blood. But I'm happy with the blessed surprise I was given now.

9. Have you ever taken your kid(s) on a trip? Heck yeah! Her first was about a month old. We did the train thing to my Dad and StepMom's and flew back. Did the plane thing again when we went to visit Dad's side up north at about 8 months. Most recently we did DisneyWorld in November and again to Dad and StepMom's (Road trip!) in April.

10. Is your kid(s) named after someone? A biblical Hebrew Queen. My Bittersweet Star.

11. When is the last time you had a sitter; What did you do? Actually, on Saturday. I worked. Unless you count Daycar, which she went to yesterday so I could work as well.

12. What is the longest you have been away from your kid(s)? Four days for my birthday.

13. Last movie you saw in theater? Pirates of the Caribbean III. Alone.

14. One thing you will not give up just because you're a mom: Me. Or my me time. I'm only human and I can not/will not conform to societies "Mommy Standard." And I will not give up my free time because I have a kid. I need it to keep being a good Mom, or I would go freakin nuts.

15. One thing you did give up now that you're a mom: Most of my free time. I miss out on alot of things I want to do because I have a child or because I need to work for my child. It sucks, but it's for a better cause.

16. If I could do it over, I'd do this differently: My choice in sperm donor. But then that would mean my girl would be different and I love her as she is.


x-posted

Current mood: calm

Friday, June 15, 2007

12:26PM - Oh!

I just went into my girl's room because she's suppose to be sleeping instead of playing. I told her it was time to go to sleep and she needed to lay down. She did as she was told and I said "I love you" and laying there, she gave me the sweetest most angelic look and smile and said "Goodnight, Momma. Love you." as well as holding up the American Sign Language sign for I Love You.

OMG, I am melting. My kid is too cute and I'm blessed that she is all mine. Yeah, blessed to have a cool ass kid.



X-posted.

Current mood: loved

Sunday, May 13, 2007

7:33AM



Happy Mother's Day to all you terrific gals!!

And to all you single Father's in the community, Happy Mother's Day as well, since you are one and the same when it comes to raising the kiddies.

Current mood: content

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

7:18AM

well how about that, my ducks are lesbians.

bean reminded them as they were walking around after we first *ahem* "walked in" on them, so to speak, that neither of them had sperm, so they couldn't make any babies, but they could be married if they liked.

*bows*

thank you! thank you!! no autographs!

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